Times of my Life
There are times when…
…it feels like life is going nowhere.
…nothing feels right.
…everything I do seems wrong.
…there’s this unworthy feeling. Unworthy of His love, unworthy of my friends, of all His blessings.
…I wish I was someone else, living another lifestyle.
…I wish I can be a child again, no problems, no responsibilities, no heartaches and suffering.
…I feel like there is more but I don’t know how to get there.
…everyone seems to be living a better life than mine and I feel so envious, so embarrassed of my life.
…I feel so guilty, so dirty, full of sin and that I can’t go to His presence anymore.
…I’m so fed up with everything that’s happening, I wish I can just go to some far away land and never come back.
…I’m so fearful, fearful of the unknown, fearful of the future, fearful of the things that can happen and the things that won’t happen.
…I’m so frustrated, frustrated because I keep wishing, wanting more.
…I don’t see anything good in me, anything that can tell me I’m no the right track, that I can make it.
…I just wish someone would be there to encourage me, someone I can talk to and pour my heart out.
Unfortunately, I’m in that time of my life now. But unlike before, I’m learning how to deal with it. I won’t say I’m so much better than before, that I can take care of myself and feel better in minutes, because I can’t. It still takes a few days. I’m just so thankful that every time I go through this, after those times I feel closer to the Lord. I know it will happen. Whatever His plan is for my life, it will take place. When? I don’t know. I just know that it will. That’s what keeps me going…
